Category: Uncategorized

I Smash Rocks

October 11, 2021 - Uncategorized

An open letter to Bally Sports, AT&T, and Spectrum: Hello fellow cocaine enthusiasts! I hate to interrupt what must be an exciting day of yacht racing in Dubai with Mitt Romney, but I’m afraid I must. It’s regarding your cable television products, and how much I hate them, and how much I hate you, because […]

We cannot cancel your gym membership

September 18, 2020 - Uncategorized

In my thirties, I got a bit chunky. Not an unreasonable level of chunky, I’d just accumulated enough body fat for a passer-by to think “that man could not jog for more than ten minutes without needing a coronary.” I’ve heard this referred to, in my line of work, as “programmer gut” and hearing that […]