I dislike being asked to write online reviews. It’s a lot like going to a concert and hearing the artist beg the audience for increasing, but always unsatisfactory levels of enthusiasm. “I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” gets followed with “AW, COME ON, YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT!” and it makes me want to find musicians that will appreciate me and my half-assed cheers. 

It’s the same sort of thing with online reviews. Good or bad, the best ones are never forced. But Amazon has the balls to pester me about writing reviews for their dogshit merchandise. If not that, then they beg me to answer questions other people have asked about products they sell all while not paying their taxes. It’s like if I ran a store, pocketed all the profits, and when a paying customer had the gall to ask me a question about what I sold, I just shrugged and said “I don’t give a shit about you, I’m just here take your money you fucking doorknob. PussySmushy69_420 will answer your dumbass questions from now on, idiot.”  

Sports Netting

Terrific seller, great product, rigid net that can take a fair amount of weight and pressure. Most of the people are using this for sporting-related purposes but it is also good for pest-control, repelling birds and pigeons from landing on certain surfaces, draping over plants to keep out rodents, etc. Personally, I utilize the netting for capturing small toddlers that wander into my backyard unattended. Before you jump to any conclusions I work for the city of Louisville Parks and Recreation department and I train junior employees on how to perform crucial maintenance work on playground equipment. As such, I keep many different models of swings, slides, and merry-go-rounds in my backyard. Despite this being MY personal property and in spite of putting up plenty of signage (AT MY EXPENSE) on my fences that says children are unwelcome to enter my property to play, I have, on average, 5-7 toddlers getting their grubby hands on my personal training monkey bars. I use the netting at the terminus of each slide to capture trespassing kids. Holds weight very well no matter how much the toddlers cry and struggle. Five stars!

Cusinart Knife Sets

Love these knives! Shipped very quick and edges stay sharp. Great variety of different blade types. I might pay extra if it came with a knife block for easy storage! I will admit to being a little bit disappointed as the manufacturers instructions clearly state that each knife’s colors will impart a burst of fruit flavor into the item that you’re slicing. I tried using the blueberry flavored paring knife on my strawberries and I could only taste a hint of blueberry, not very powerful at all. Then I tried to chop cherries with my sour apple butcher’s knife and I did not taste anything except the cherries. Hopefully in the next batch they can add much more flavored coating!

Kasonic Microphone Stand

For the price, it’s an excellent budget mic stand mostly for basic home studios and limited gigging. If you need professional-grade quality you should probably buy the Shure mic stand with the heavy metal base. One suggestion I have for the seller is to offer more colors than just black. I bought the stand for my kids project. I suspected my boys (age 4-7-10) have been reading Marxist literature as the oldest plays a lot of socialist video games like Sim City but the youngest just got into the Wizard of Oz so he likes scarecrows. I ordered the mic stand first and began redesigning it into a fun scarecrow that the boys could dance around with and decorate as they saw fit etc. I make it so that the scarecrow’s head was the top of the mic stand and at the end of the arms the scarecrow was eating a fun ice cream cone. I never let the kids listen to music so the two youngest at least should not be able to recognize the shape of a microphone so I could paint it white like vanilla and then catch the oldest reading the communist manifesto to them red handed but when I went to paint the microphone vanilla colored it made everything sound muffled and while that’s not entirely the fault of the mic stand I think more color options would be great in the future.

Hoont Mosquito Killer

Make sure you clean the trap out weekly if you’ve got the same Midwest mosquito infection that we do in our backyard! And because of our pets using toxic chemicals simply wasn’t an option so this was perfect. Works the same indoors and outdoors like it says. The fan is so quiet I found myself checking the fan was even on while it was plugged in. Some people like to lick their finger to see if the fan is blowing air and while this method is good the best way is to simply use your tongue. A wet finger can only tell you the directionality of the air but with the tongue’s wide array of nerve endings with practice you can determine wind speed, pitch, yaw, and of course flavor of the insects being trapped. Don’t be so closed-minded in many cultures around the planet of earth insects provide great nutrition to many normal people and as long as I filter out some of the moths what’s caught in the reservoir can go straight into my powershakes. Five stars!

Akai MIDI Controller

Versatile MIDI controller but the button lights are a little too bright for my taste. I’ve had to put tape over the LEDs which can be really confusing when you are making beats. That being said, my setup is a little different than most because I had a bad cricket injury when I was younger that damaged the bones on my hand. An opponent – who will remain nameless even though SHE has ruined a lot of my dexterity – intentionally bowled the ball violently off the ground and directed it towards the back of my right hand which left a nasty bruise all because she claimed I asked for her home address in a parking lot which is a lie because we were on the sidewalk. As a result of her throw, I no longer have the strength to fully depress the MIDI pads, so I am forced to wire my home’s entire 240v power line from underneath the garage I use to charge my Tesla into the controller to get the sensitivity that I need (don’t worry my brother is a real electrician and he taught me everything he knows). This makes the controller very hot and sometimes it burns my fingers a bit but the sensitivity is perfect and my music has never been better. If you build a similar setup make sure you keep an assortment of fire extinguishers in your studio as Akai did not do a good enough job of heat dispersal in this controller and as a result small blazes can occur during vigorous recording sessions.

RF Shielding Fabric

The fabric is definitely thin and you might need to combine a couple of different layers together before you begin to see any signal reduction. Different devices may be more susceptible to the RF blocking than others based on the wavelengths they operate on, so make sure to pre-configure your monitoring tools accordingly. Approximately 700 yards from my home, T-Mobile has constructed a new 5G tower and it was imperative that I cover my infant’s crib with this material on all sides except the top. 5G spectrum is highly untested and unregulated, so until more scientific work is done I must act proactively to fortify my home. Within 2 months of the 5G tower being built, I began to notice minor joint inflammation and all of the preserves from my garden began to rot inside of their glass JARS! Then a few weeks later, I was wearing my RF gear while mowing the lawn and I watched a large cougar climbing the stairs to my deck only to immediately drop dead next to my charcoal grill. The 5G waves are clearly toxic and humans and non-humans alike are suffering!

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